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Worse yet, many can't stay hard wearing one, so using protection may create or feed performance anxiety.Īnother explanation I've heard is that gay men bareback out of a need for transgression, from a desire to flout societal norms and rules. Many guys can't reach orgasm if they're wearing a condom. This loss of sensation can do more than just diminish sexual pleasure.
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Anyone who's ever fucked (or been fucked) without a condom knows just how much sensation is lost when you suit up. Let's start with the most obvious explanation for barebacking. That's a lot of ground to cover, so I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I'd then like to offer my own view of what motivates barebacking. With those preliminaries out of the way, I thought I'd look at a few of the possible explanations for why gay men might choose to bareback, even when they know the risks. I'm speaking only about men who voluntarily assume the risk of transmission by barebacking. I'm not talking about guys who bareback because they believe, rightly or wrongly, that they are not putting themselves at risk for HIV in a given sexual encounter. Finally, let me clarify what I'm not talking about here. They just call it "having sex." Second, I don't want anyone to think I'm here to pass some kind of moral judgment on barebacking because, frankly, I'm in no position to do so. Straight people bareback all the time, of course, but unlike us, they don't make up titillating names for it.
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First, I know gay men aren't the only ones who bareback. If I'm right about that, then we have to put aside any discomfort the topic may cause and try to understand why guys bareback.Ī few clarifications before we start. Far from disappearing, I'd bet that despite valiant efforts at HIV prevention, barebacking is on the rise. You might think that by now, thirty years into this horrible epidemic, barebacking would be a thing of the past. We all know how risky barebacking is, and we all know it goes on all the time. Or, if you prefer the almost comically clinical language of early safer sex education, sex during which "bodily fluids" may be "exchanged." Can we talk about "barebacking"? You know, unprotected anal sex between men.